Spice up the romance

Many intending couples get into sex before marriage (which I do not recommend) but it’s surprising to know that all that romance and spark evaporates after the wedding…let’s say…2 to 5 years down the track. In some cases, earlier than that. The romance is all gone! “ they cry. First they have forgotten that the “good feeling” or relationship they had was nurtured to get them through to the wedding. They have also forgotten that the nurturing has to continue to have a successful marriage. Somebody once said the seed to a good relationship is TIME

• Maybe your man got so busy and hardly has time for you or you are so busy in the kitchen that you don’t have time to “service” your man! Now it’s getting so boring and it's like "how did I get into this?"
• Maybe you’re so angry at your partner because of the build up of offences that you have allowed or
• Maybe you’re about to step out of that marriage or begin an affair.

STOP RIGHT THERE!!

First, remember that it’s the same everywhere. If you cannot spice up the marriage you're in what gives you the assurance that you will be able to spice up another marriage or relationship?

Nobody will work on your marriage for you…you have to do the work!!

Do you remember the courtship days? That’s what you want don’t you? But it must start with you! If you make it somebody else' job, nobody’s ever going to do it! A counsellor may speak to you but it still boils down to you and your partner getting back together. No matter what’s happened,

Make it your assignment!!

Do you remember how you felt and the spark you saw in each other’s eyes? How hungry are you for the gentle touch from your spouse? One of the things happening is that you have lost the spark you both had for each other. You have allowed the busy-ness of life to separate you. You have assumed and allowed “unhealthy contentment and extreme commitments” to rob you of the romance you both once enjoyed.

You have forgotten the warmth of romance you both hadd. Maybe you’re not proud of your body, or you simply think that you don’t “service” your wife as you should…But I tell you....IT'S NEVER TOO LATE

Let me give you these tricks:

1.Trust in Jesus – I’m sure He’ll help you. He’s helped me thru and he’s still helping me
2.Do what your husband or wife likes – there’s no way you please somebody and they’ll not be attracted to you
3.Wear some nice underwear/lingerie for your spouse
4.Watch TV together…under a cuddly blanket or something
5.Give him/her a kiss publicly when he’s not expecting it
6.Give him/her a cuddle while doing some house chores. In the kitchen, garden, laundry etc
7.Light the candles and play some good music before he/she comes home.
8.Take her out and speak lots of kind words...shut up! and stop arguing
9.Be patient…keep trying…it will definitely answer
10.Pray, pray and pray some more but never give upGod has brought you together and I’m sure he wants you happy together.
Even if you think you’ve made a mistake, God can still re write your story if you trust Him.

If you need Jesus to help your marriage but yet to accept Jesus please say this prayer with me:“Lord Jesus, I need you, I believe you died for my sins and you rose again from the dead on the third day. Come into my heart and life. Jesus, be my Lord. Teach me your ways and help me through life. Amen”.

 If you said that prayer you are now born again by faith in Jesus Christ. Say this prayer if you need help for your marriage“

Lord Jesus, I know you died to give me peace. You are the Prince of Peace. I ask Father that you give me peace in my home.  Help me spice up the romace my spouse and I once had. Help me bring peace to my home in every way. Help my spouse receive your love and peace and help us spice up the romance in our marriage. Thank you Father. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen”

 Like I always say, It may be tough, it may not be easy but it’s worth a try. Thanks for stopping by and please watch this space for more on “Love, marriage, sex and what else??”
God bless you!!

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A perfect relationship??

I once read a story that a person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and



requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable
one." Th e SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good
looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and
dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my
leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I
need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The
officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need
television."




I'm not sure of the kind of relationship you're looking for but I can guarantee you that you can only find a very peaceful, loving and rewarding relationship if only you:

Make Jesus the bedrock of the relationship

1. Give love selflessly
2. Give love endlessly

It may be tough but I tell you "it's more than worth it." I've been there and I'm still working through it with love.



Love never fails. ICor 13:8. Watch this space for more on "Love, Marriage and what else?"

Mathematics of an awesome relationship

Many times we hear "I love him" or "I love her", "I can't let him go" "I have such a wonderful feeling for him/her" only to find out weeks, months or a few years later that the "once beautiful" thing they shared is no more there!




A beautiful relationship is more than having some "chemistry" or feelings for a man or woman. Feelings go away and can many times be deceptive. It is just a hunger that needs to be satisfied. A beautiful relationship is also more than having a clean, intelligent and beautifully shapped woman or well shaved, handsome, rich guy.




A beautiful relationship is not:

• Just a feeling
• Great sex
• Having a millionaire man or a beautiful/celebrity lady
• Colonizing a woman into submission
• Badmouthing your man
• Marrying a christian
• Keeping malice with your spouse
• Achieved by fasting or prayer

There are proven God-given principles that will give a beautiful relationship anyday, anytime - GUARANTEED!.



A beautiful relationship means:

• Having peace with the one you love
• A two-way lifetime commitment between two people
• An unending romance with the one you have chosen to love regardless of what happens.

Some people dread going into a relationship because of what they've seen, heard or experienced. They think it's very complex and cannot work! Some people have fasted, prayed and some have even given up!!

In mathematics, 1+2=3, 2.5+.5=3, 0+3=3 1.5+1.5=3, 100-97=3, 1*3=3 etc. Just as it is in maths so also it is in life. You need the right variables or combinations to get your desired answer. 1+4 will never be equalled to 3 no matter how hard you try! So it is for your relationship. If you have the wrong combinations, there will be no peace. It will not work except you apply God- given formulas.


A wise woman + An understanding man = A lasting relationship


We've discussed the right hand side of the equation. Now let's look at left side.

1. A wise woman
2. An understanding man

A wise woman: Proverbs 14:1 says "A wise woman builds her own home but a foolish woman pulls it down with her hands". You can't build your relationship by the feminist theories or women liberation movements. That's not God's wisdom! A wise woman uses God's wisdom; else you're a foolish woman. Many women blame their husbands saying "he doesn't love me", "he's stingy", "He's not considerate", "He's not funny and doesn't play with me"...the list is endless. But the creator of the relationship (God) says "for you to get at your man's heart, you need wisdom". To build that home, to enjoy peace in that relationship you need peace.



The first step here is to watch your association. Associate with those who have great relationships. Your association shows your destnation. Don't sit around and talk with people who run down their husbands or fiance. Don't go sitting around with those who are bitter with their man or ex-man beacause they were foolish or are by-products of divorce, separation. Here are some of the things every wise woman should do in building her home/husband. They will give you a headstart.

• Be a friend of Jesus
• Pray for the love of your life (Very important)
• Know your man
• Obey him - feminist theories are against this but I tell they can't give you peace
• Study and understand your man's weaknesses plus cover up for him.
• Verbalise Praise to him
• Look your best even if you don't have too much
• Be humble no matter your achievements
• Be prudent with his and your money
• Give up arguments
• Extended family comes next - your relationship first
• Give food and sex (only for the married) as occassion demands
• Lavish love on him selflessly and endlessly
• Make him feel like a king/make him feel like he owns you (every man likes this)

If you start up with this, you'll experience a great change in your relationship.
 
2.  An understanding man: I Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.


Many Christian men quote "wives obey your husband in all things" or "wives be submissive to your own husbands" - thereby forcefully collonizing their wives into submission! I am not a fan of women liberation neither am I for opression in a relationships. Scriptures says "Submit yourselves to one another in the fear of God" Eph 5:21. The man as well as the woman need to submit to themselves.


You need to understand your woman as a weaker vessel. Let's put it this way. She's got a label on her that reads "FRAGILE: HANDLE WITH CARE". She may look strong to you but she always needs a shoulder she can lean on. She needs to know that my man though he's leading me is also supporting me.



Here are a few things an understanding man will do:

• Make Jesus your friend and adviser
• Pray for your woman
• Understand her needs - there's no leader without a follower
• Love her endlessly
• Ask for her opinions on issues - it shows she's valued
• Help with the house chores
• Give her a bedroom name - jewel, princess, honey, stainless, priceless etc
• When she runs her mouth, pretend u never heard - a leader does not respond to every accusation
• Ask yourself "what does she really want and why"
• Put yourself in her shoes
• Even when she's hurt you, let it pass
• Spend time with her
• Tell her she's beautiful and you have her back
• Buy her gifts
• Touch her/cuddle
• Show her you respect her

 Like I usually say, it may be hard, it may be tough, but it's worth a try. I pray in the name of Jesus that your relationship will be a model for others to follow in the name of Jesus.



Let me just say this to the love of my life "I love you the owner of my body Ayo , my lover and prince. I was so imperfect that you are the best thing that happened to me. Thanks for being there I will always be there too".


Thanks for stopping by guys and luv u heaps.

Watch this space for more on "Love, marriage and what else?"

Will you marry me?

I've been thinking on what it means to ask this question "Will you marry me?" and I discovered that it's more than "mr right" kneeling before "snow white".

It is true that the question gives a sweet feeling and a sense of fulfillment. In my opinion, it means “I’ve found you and won’t let you go. Are you coming with me?” but I know there's more.

I remember years ago when my husband asked this question.What a sweet memory… Aawww!! It reminds me of candles, romantic settings, drinks, eye contact, smiles, the ring and sometimes the shy lady’s answer.
Regardless of how sweet the feeling, memory or story is, your understanding of this question and the answer that follows determines the success of your marital relationship.
Come with me, as we run through this question together:
Two things are involved:

1. The plan
2. The package

The Plan: No one plans to fail. When a young man asks his princess to marry him, he's planned for nothing but success and a great future. The young woman on the other hand knows there’s a future with prince charming…so her answer goes “yes” and they both begin their marital journey.
When you ask a lady to marry you, you are simply saying I’ve got a plan; I plan to succeed with you. “I want us to tour the world together”, “I want us to have fun together”, “I want us to have 3 kids” or “I want us to share our love and successes”. Whatever your dreams or plans, they are great!  But it’s more than having a plan. There is more!

The package: It is one thing to have a map (plan) when going on a journey but it is more important to brace up with the determination to arrive at your desired destination.
Your marital journey is a package that is not without challenges. When you ask that lady to marry you, you’re saying “I know you’re a package with flaws but I’m ready to love you still”. If you are the princess and you say “yes”, you’re just saying “I know there are times you’ll make me cry but I’ll remain loving and forgiving. Either way, you’re both saying:

• I am a package, waiting to be unwrapped; will you still love me even if what you find is not as pleasant as you thought?
• Is it ok if I've got baggages and troubles from my past?
• Will you love me the same when you discover that I have a weakness with filth, lies, greed, deceit, laziness or something else?
• Will you look me in the eye and stand by me in times of trouble?
• I’m rich today, what if I became a pauper tomorrow? Will you marry my pauper status also?
• I have some surprising ignorance: are you ready to marry those too?
• Will you give up your dreams to make sure I fulfil my dreams or is it just about what you want to do?
• Are you ready to pursue my visions and dreams even when they sound senseless and different from what you normally enjoy?
• Will you be united with me when there are no children from this union against our expectation?
• If you suddenly discover that I do not know how to cook or groom the house as you had expected, will your love still be as passionate as it is?
• Areyou ready to stand by me when my health, ministry, work, career, prestige fails?
• Will you stay with me when I choose in-laws over you – ignorantly saying that “blood is thicker than water”?

The bible says while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us Romans 5:8. That means He (Jesus)  knew our weaknesses, yet went all the way out to love us and make us His bride. He’s always proud to call us children even when we fall or fail.
If you are married, ask yourself “have I really married my spouse?” If you’re single ask yourself “Am I ready to marry my fiancé/fiancée?” Are you being sincere?
If you had known his/her weaknesses, would you still have gone ahead? Even now that you know those weaknesses, are you still ready to go all the way out and help them overcome those challenges? Are you ready to shoulder the responsibilities of being united with that man or woman even when it feels like storming out of the relationship? Will you work hard at covering his/her weaknesses, offering support and education in those areas? Are you ready to forgive and start again when they lie to you or betray your trust (even if they do it a million times?).
What are you willing to lay down for the love of your life? Don’t look at their areas of problems or flaws, see the potential in them that they can overcome and conquer those weaknesses. Fight with them as they fight. Reassure them of your love.

The success of your relationship lies in your willingness to MARRY your spouse (or finace/finacee’s) weaknesses.

Like I always say, it may be tough, it may be easy but it’s worth a try.
Thanks for stopping by my dear friend and watch this space for more on Love, marriage, and what else?

To love or be loved??

I read the stunning story of a 92 year old woman who shot a man in his fifties for not “kissing her”. Amazing! But do you blame her? It simply made me realize that everyone has a need for love - regardless of how old we are! LOL
You have a need for love. Even the hardest criminal needs love. Do you remember “Beauty and the beast?


Let’s take a look at Lk. 10: 33-35
33But a certain Samaritan, as he traveled along, came down to where he was; and when he saw him, he was moved with pity and sympathy [for him],
34And went to him and dressed his wounds, pouring on [them] oil and wine. Then he set him on his own beast and brought him to an inn and took care of him.
35And the next day he took out two denarii [two day's wages] and gave [them] to the innkeeper, saying, Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, I [myself] will repay you when I return.

Look at it this way:
The good Samaritan = Jesus/God/YOU
The hospital keeper/doctor = YOU
The man that fell among robbers = Spouse/fiancée/fiancé/that person in your life/you

The Good Samaritan: We always want to have good Samaritans in our lives but have you ever thought that YOU could be somebody else’s Good Samaritan? Jesus picked you up from wherever you fell in your journey in life. He bound up your wounds so you don’t bleed to death, handed you over to somebody that would love you and that’s why you are here today!

SOMEBODY LOVED YOU ENOUGH TO HELP YOU GET TO WHERE YOU ARE!!
It doesn’t matter what’s happening to you now. He picked you up…that’s why you’re still living and that’s probably why you’re reading this too!

The man that fell among robbers: Maybe you’re experiencing a situation and God has sent you a Good Samaritan. Have you accepted them? Can you recognize them? Somebody wants to help bind up your wounds but you’re busy wrapped up in the pains and hurts of your past experiences. Will you let the LORD bind up your wounds through these people?
Your spouse, fiancée, fiancé, flatmate or whoever you have in your life could be that person the Lord wants to use to bind up your wounds and give you the love you need to move to the next phase of your life. They could also be the ones that fell among robbers. But you know what? Jesus picked them up and brought them to you. That person might have experienced heartaches, sufferings, disappointments, sicknesses, failures, name it all. All he needs now is love. Your God says: I have done my bit but he/she still needs the human touch. Will you allow the love of God flow through you to those love-starved people? Or are you indifferent because of the hurts you have experienced yourself. Remember there’s somebody somewhere that God has placed in your life to heal your pains and there’s somebody you are meant to heal with love.

THAT’S WHY THAT PERSON IS IN YOUR LIFE.
THAT’S WHY YOU ARE IN THAT PERSON’S LIFE. 
  
The Hospital Doctor: I know it’s a lot easier to receive love. It requires no effort. All you have to do is to sit down and enjoy the ride… but there is no reward for that my friend. Jesus said: whatever you spend, I will repay. Your love tank may be running out but Jesus said even if you overspend, I will repay. That person may be hard to love but Your Lord says, I will pay you.
In that relationship, marriage, church, work, school, everywhere and anywhere, watch out for those who have fallen among robbers, the Lord is delivering them to you. Watch out for those you suddenly abandoned because you thought they were unlovable. Right where you are, pick them up, love them and the Lord will repay you. It’s like a job contract. Once you do your job, your pay cheque is waiting. Those people are your neighbours; we are of the same Father of all creation. Bring them near and help them heal.

If you refuse to love them and look after them as commanded, they could get into more trouble…when they get into more trouble, it’s because you failed to perform your duties.

THEY MAY NOT BE ABLE TO PAY YOU BUT THE LORD SAYS “WHATEVER YOU SPEND, I WILL REPAY”. GOD WILL PAY YOU BACK.

What do you prefer: to love or be loved?

 Just like I’ve always said, it may be hard, it may be tough but it’s always worth a try.

Thanks for sneaking by…watch this space for more on Love, marriage and what else?

God bless you with love!

What is on your table? A must read!!

"He prepares a table before me…in the presence of my enemies" Ps 23

That part of the scripture is so popular that even an under 5 year old knows it! But what table are we talking about? Where is your table? What do you have on your table? Until you answer these questions, the Lord may not prepare a table before you.

A table is a furniture where you place objects for easy reach. You are that furniture in God’s house. Your life is that table but it must have the right things for God to reach you. God wants to sit at your table. He wants to eat at your table…in other words…He wants to use YOU! That table is YOU!!

Say to yourself…I am God’s table. Amen.

Your table is your life. It may be your relationship, future, marriage, business, home, education, prayer life or simply your walk with God. Your table is your mind. God longs to plant a garden in these areas of your life. He wants to make it beautiful but not without your permission. If you have allowed pornography, lying, envy, jealousy, witchcraft and what have you in your life, God will not be able to prepare your table.
When Jesus entered the temple in the book of Matthew, he saw money changers and their tables. He got angry and over turned their tables. He also whipped them out. Why? Because they were using the tables for wrong reasons. Maybe you have allowed the devil to use your table for the wrong reasons, as you reach out to God today, there will be a brand new start in Jesus’ name.
Ten Facts about your table:

1. You own that table
2. Your table is your life
3. It could be your mind, relationship or any area of your life
4. You decide what you have on your table
5. God wants to prepare your table but you must give him the permission to do so
6. Your table was made to be beautiful for the use of your maker
7. The devil or what you don’t want has no right over your table
8. Your table/life is your future
9. What you have on your table right now determines what happens to your future
10. When you give your table to your maker (God), all you need do is watch your life blossom.

That table is yours! It is your life. But many times you are not in control of your life anymore. Why? Because you haven’t given total control to your maker. Maybe you are living a lack/poverty infested life. Maybe you’ve got confusion on your table. It could be some hurt that you experienced many years ago…I’m not sure if the future looks very bleak to you. One thing I know is that “I’VE GOT GOOD NEWS FOR YOU TODAY”.

Jesus is angry at those things on the table of your life. He is angry at the impossibilities that you see. He’s got the whip in His hands and He’s just waiting for you to say “Jesus, prepare a table before me”. I need your anointing for exploits. I want to fulfil those long awaited dreams. I want to break through from these holds of darkness. I long to be free from the captivity of sexual traps and immorality.

I don’t know what the devil has infested your table with, but I’m too sure that if you can ask the Lord to overturn the tables of your life and set a brand new table before you, things will change.
Within 24 hours in the name of Jesus Christ there will be a turn around. In your home, business, life, relationship, walks with God, hearing from God, in your future and in every area you can thing of.
God wants to eat with you….but you must allow Him set the table. Give Him the chance today.

Be blessed!